ForDrayton.com

I strive to be the very best mom that I can be.  I have a huge heart and I want to continue to mold my son into an admirable young man.  I understand that children are exposed to many things in this world from different environments to exposure to different behaviors and what they are taught isn’t always what they will witness others being taught.

I tend to ramble but soo much needs to be said here so I will do my best to stay on track. 

My little boy doesn’t have a mean streak in him.  He is not wired that way THANKFULLY.  He has not ever once bullied another child not ever once.  He is learning for himself that other children don’t always act as kindly as he does. While it really bothers me to see this we together are experiencing this journey together.

My little boy is the sweetest little boy I know.  He is very generous, very sensitive and very bright.  We don’t tolerate anything other than kindness and fairness in our home.

Drayton is like all other kids his age learning how to share and how to play with other children.  Unfortuantely he gets pushed around alot more than he should and I understand that as his mom I need to protect him but at the same time I need to give him his space to handle his own situations.  I don’t tolerate nasty behavior so it has been a struggle to see him get bullied by someone and then not be allowed to act the same way back.  I always tell him what a good friend he is and how kind he is.  When he does get pushed around I tell him that the other said child didn’t mean it and that he handled himself well.

Twice now in his two years he has given a gentle nudge back to others that push him around and even still I have spoken up to say that it is not necessary to react and well we move on.

I notice he is much nicer to “MOST” of the children he plays with.  While people may not like to read this I am writing it for my own sake and can’t worry myself with others and their reactions to my pointing out the very obvious differences in how he is treated and how he treats others.

I praise Drayton all day long for being gentle and sweet and for being aware of people around him and I feel like I have done an outstanding job so far because he is a remarkable little boy.  He is soo charming and soo loving.

I am not saying that all children are naughty and that mine is better than everyone and if someone that reads this takes it that way I am sorry but I just keep it real!  I realize every parent has their own beliefs on how to best address certain situations and how to interact with their children about their said behaviors.

I am just soo thankful  to be the parent of the little guy who is all around very well behaved and very kind to all others.

I can’t shelter him from everything bad in the world but what I can do is speak to him and point out what behaviors I tolerate and what behaviors I do not tolerate.  I find myself upset alot that he doesn’t get treated the way he treats others and that it is few and far between when he is treated like he treats others.  Iam sure my opinions will leave people angry at me as if to say I am cutting down their parenting or their childrens behaviors and in a way Iguess I can see how it comes off this way and I do not intend to cut anyone down but I also don’t intend to go without saying anything and that is why I blog.  I hope he will look back on all of this one day and see how much attention I put into being the best mommy and best friend to him.  I love this quote…”what we look for and value in our friends are the very same qualities we are most proud of or wish were more evident in ourselves.”  With that being said I can only hope people see that it isn’t about them it’s about my situtation and so I will express things as I feel need be and as constructively as I possibly can and can only hope that I can teach others to strive to achieve the same thing I am and that is a well rounded happy and well treated child.

We all know some more than others how unfair things in life can be from time to time.

I believe that people make tooooo many excuses for their childrens poor behavior.  I believe people think that a toddler is too young to understand right from wrong and I strongly disagree.  I say this cause people don’t react the way they should far too often and to me it is unfair to my child.

Not only is my child very bright but so are most of the children he encounters.  Children are like sponges they ABSORB everything! Good and Bad!

It is up to us to teach them inbetween all the soaking up that they do what is ok and what is not ok.  how ever one chooses to do so is fine but a lack of doing soo can have a negative effect on the parents like myself that spend a great deal of one on one time with their child teaching behaviors and just teaching positve things of all kinds.

Ok guess I should make some examples…

I have noticed recently that making friends is hard for adults and for children to some degree when you feel like you have to be picky like I feel I have to be.

You may like the parent but the child may be a terror making it a no win friendship.  You may find yourself liking the child and disliking the parent which also makes a friendship trying.  Who wants to hang around someone they have nothing in common with?

Well I love to be around my son and since he is still a baby I have to make friends that are healthy for the both of us.  I understand that one day he will have to be his own best judge but I want to help him now how to look for good qualities in order to have  good quality friendships.

People may think of me as an over thinker and may not want to be my friend but I can assure you they want my son to be a friend of their childs because I work so hard to instill great things great behavior and awareness.  My little boy is a very desireable little friend that anyone would be proud to have in their life and any parent would be proud to havearound their child and I think he deserves the same.

I think that EVERY behavior is a learned behavior.  people sayd thing like oh he is teething or he is tired or he is going through a phaze.  Well it is all learned behaivior.  Whether they are learnging from their parents or their surroundings they are still little sponges learning from every single person they come in contact with.

What behaviors has my son soaked up that I dislike you may ask, well finally I am getting to the point of this particular blog.

A couple days ago we went out to eat.  Drayton always attracts positive attention to himself for being soo polite and charming and soooo very well behaved at home and in public settings.

We were at outback for dinner and like a little prince he sat and ate his dinner and was soooo well behaved.

The entire time we were their he was witnessing a little boy at the table next to us behaving soo terribly.  Screaming crying and thrashing around in his chair.  His parents were not thrilled but made no effort to talk to him they were more annoyed with how it bothered them.  the grandma was being short with him and cutting down his mother for her lack of disciplining when she went to the restroom.  When she returned she gave him to his father and said you deal with him and all he wanted was his momma well the point is the kid was a terror and his parents made no effort to work with him or remove him from the restauarant out of respect for others around them that may not want to have their kids exposed to that awful behavior.

They sat there for wayyy too long when they should have left and tended to their child that was desperate obviously to go to sleep.

Drayton pointed out that that baby was naughty and right he was.  We told him that he was correct in his observation and that we thank him for not behaving that way.

Another example. At the lil Gym last week Drayton witnessed a tantrum from a little girl that was completely out of control.  I wasdisgusted at the mom for her lack of concern for all of us around her.  I understand that the best medicine sometimes is to tune them out and let them work it out on their own but you need to remove them from the classroom or group that they are disrupting and you need to ignore them in your own space like your car or your home.  This particular parent proceeded to chat amongst the other moms while the child lay on the floor screaming bloody murder and with no pause.  Drayton was very concerned about her.  why she was soo upset and what the hell was going on.  He hadn’t a clue what to think.  I told him she was being naughty and again how thankful I was that he was not behaving poorly like she was.

Sooo with these little tastes you see that every behavior is a learned behavior..If they can learn a bad behavior than you the parent should strive to unlearn it to em and not just make excuses for them.

This brings me to my point for todays blog.

Last night Drayton decided to throw a little fit in a restaurant and while we told him he was being naughty he disregarded us in an effort to see where it would take him.  Well we left and went home.  I will not force other people to listen to my child throwing a fit big or small and it was small but we left to spare our surroundings having to hear him squeal.

Today was his first day since last weeks graduation from lil gym…It is a new semester new friends and new impressions.

Well when it came time to put the balls away he melted down.  I didn’t give him any choice in the matter and told him to straighten up his act or we would leave.  I gave him a whole minute if that and he refused to put the ball away so we removed ourselves from the class so that not to be disruptive to the others.  I tried to talk it out with him in the hall and by the car and he refused to calm down so we grabbed our things and proceeded to leave.

The teacher stepped out and said no worries they all have their moments and its no problem..I responded that I don’t care what other children get away with mine will not get away with being deisruptive and we will not benefit from poor behavior.

We went straight home.  He screamed the whole way to his crib where I let him cry it out.  He was soo angry about that ball.  I tried to talk it out with him twice but he was not ready.  Finally he calmed completely down and told me he was all better.  He was not crying at all at this point so I got him out of the crib and hugged him.  I thanked him for calming down while also explaining that I did not appreciate that naughty behavior and would like an apology.  He said sorry mommy.  I said what are you sorry for?  I then said are you sorry for being naughty?  He knew very well what we were talking about.  I told him that if he wanted to attend classes next week he could not act that way again or we would leave again.  He hopefully realizes that he did not benfit at all from his poor behavior choice.  It was no fun to give up the ball no but then to go straight home to his room was no fun either.  I called to apologize for his disruption and explained that while she said it was ok it just wasn’t ok for me that he behave that way.  He knows better!

They are alot smarter than some give them credit for.  I can only hope next week he makes a better choice…While he may have learned himself some new behaviors from others he will learn quickly that those behaviors don’t benefit him.

I am not a spanker…Iresort to different things like other moms may resort to different things as well.  I just want to tech my child the very best always and make no excuses in the meantime.

I know they are entitled to bad moods or just a bad day but still there are limits and I set mine and can only hope others will see my intentions are only the best.  I know that he will be exposed to all these different behaviors when he is in school some day and he will be on his own to judge right from wrong.  I just know that I am dong my best now to teach him right from wrong and I can only hope that he uses the best judgement and surrounds himsself with good people and positive environments as he grows older and more independant.

It would be soo nice if all parents worried about the same things as it relates to raising their kds but I accept that there will always be differences in beliefs and opinions…I just do what I have to do cause I know I have a well rounded and very capable little boy that everyone likes and I want to keep it that way.  I want him to be a good example.